John Key – Prime Minister of New Zealand
Dim the lights. Bring up the music.
…He thinks he is
More interesting
Than the world
Ah but five fags
Puts him in a whirl
I’ll have a packet of three-five fives…
Enter, stage left, Prime Minister of New Zealand, John Key (in his underpants). He takes the microphone, the music drops abruptly.
“It’s John Key!” he shouts. “Not John Quays.”
He’s got a point, and that was nothing but a poor excuse to play The Fall’s No Christmas for John Quays. It was quite an opening though, and the other World Leaders, who John is now joining will have no doubt that he has arrived.
As yet another leader who could have been usurped by Betty the Second in claims to be Head of State, John Key may be forgiven for wanting to make an entrance. The country he represents is comprised of two large islands and a smattering of smaller ones, and is widely regarded as spectacular. It’s easy to forget it’s there, tucked away on the far side of pretty much everything. The Maori name for New Zealand is Land of the Long White Cloud, whilst the old Zeeland it is named after is a flood-prone Dutch province (sea land). It tends only to remind us of its presence via the twin evils of rugby and earthquakes.
And yet, there may not be a Christmas for John Key, as he called an election for the end of November 2011. We’ll see…
